I’m on a plane from Detroit to Elmira NY to see my Aunt right now, and I feel obligated to write. I’m nervous and scared. My Nana has warned us that she is not well, and doesn’t have much longer.
I faced this disease head on, and it was tough, but for the most part there was very little uncertainly that I wasn’t going to kick this things ass. I’m going to be walking into the lion’s den in a few hours, and I don’t know how it’s going to affect me seeing this disease rapidly take someone close to me.
The last time I saw Pam was well over three years ago, before she was first diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a rough visit, as our families always clashed over values and beliefs, something looking back, could have been fixed but both families were too proud to chance their ways. I don’t blame either side, as it reminds me of Matt Damon in The Departed when he says “If something is wrong your going to have to leave me, I’m Irish I’ll deal with something being fucked up my entire life”
Put in this situation, I regret it… I wish it didn’t come to this last ditch effort for family redemption. But for the situation it is the best thing we can do.
Note: Landed, got to my grandparent's house ok, stayed up and talked with my Uncle Glenny. The feeling is somber around here, and everyone describes their feelings as 'numb' and 'shocked' My dad and I were told to prepare ourself for tomorrow with Pam. It's not going to be pretty.
More to come
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