Follow your heart

Hello world, it's been awhile.

I'm sorry for my readers that I have left you in the dark lately, but life just hasn't left me time to write. If it has I've actually felt that there is something that should be left to doubt and for the first time, there is something I want left private.

Today is 7.18.2010, two years ago to this day that the best gift was given to me. The best thing I have ever asked for. Two years ago today I found myself... This is my 4th of July. But it's hard to celebrate, today is special to me, a promise of forever that I hope will last just as long.

Congress, what can I say about it. I meet with the powers of my State, and was able to give them a taste of blue collar life without insurance. I was adamant, and persistent and told my story they heard it.  I want to think I made a change, an insight into what is wrong with our system. But seeing generic thank you letters from my senators makes me think I was another asshole begging for help.

I pride myself on hard work and dedication, and in only a few instances speaking to Congress did I feel that my story gave a shit to our representatives. Those two people are Sue Myrick and Patrick McHenry. They could have just been appeasing me, but they listened. (And yes they are Republicans)

Sue, is a Breast Cancer survivor and she knew what I was going through. From diagnosis, recovery, and getting life back to normal, she sympathized, she understood what it is to take a year out of your life and push your heart back to reality. She provided me with the resources I needed to fast track a normal life, I hope that ten years from now I will look at our meeting, and then look at my life and thank her for the opportunity she has given me.

Patrick McHenry, this kid from Mooresville is 34, and I hope he goes for Kay Hagan's seat in the Senate. I truly do he will do so much.  I wish this guy was in Charlotte, I would volunteer for him. He has what it takes to be a true politician. I told my story to him, about the year of hell and how I'm just barely getting through, he embraced it. I was to the point of crying when I told him how scared I was of getting a blood test without insurance, because if it came back positive, well then you can consider me financially bankrupt. He understood my passion, my hurt, my scared inhibition.

But he enlightened me about the truths of our system, and how things are above our eyes. I won't call it corruption, but it is defined as greed. He showed me the importance of spending, and it made sense. An example of this is a six month fix for Medicade (remember SIX month fix) would cost tax payers a TEN year tax. For the first time I realized why Republicans do what they do. The short term fix will cost us in the end, and I realize that now.

The past year of my life I have related to the Democratic Party, mostly because of the programs that helped me through my health issues. But (and you know there is a but) you become attached to these programs, and next thing you realize you are looking for others to support you. I was in this situation, and I didn't realize the effect until I was cut off from Social programs. They can help people in need, but it's an easy trap to become comfortable with taking something you 'need' when in reality you just need motivation to get off your ass and apply yourself. Outside looking in, these social programs killed my motivation. A life lesson I learned the hard way.

I am now in a place of constant motivation, the depression is gone, as it will just bring me down. The belief that I will surface from this horrible time in my life better than before gets me excited. I meet with a good friend earlier this week who is also a survivor, and he told me.
   "You don't know it now, but this is the best thing that ever happened to you" I've honestly thought that  since remission, but I've never heard it from someone who was in my place, we see eye to eye, and I truly believe him. Those few words brought perspective to my new life mission.

Who knows what is next, but I am a man who follows his heart first and dammit I'm not going to stop that. Life has bumps in the road, but the strongest will always prevail.

I consider myself the strongest man I know.

Till next time.